Sacredly Scarred

Because Your Love is better than life, my lips will glorify Your Name...psalm 63:3
victory over a wooden box and the grave…

victory over a wooden box and the grave…

Without the work on the cross death would have won.  Despair would reign in the hearts of all of us.  Hope would be nonexistent.  But we stand firmly rooted in Christ’s victory over the grave.  We accept our death as a mere event that leads us into completed form and the reward of eternal life with God.  Do you stand certain, when questioned, “why do you think you belong in God’s house?”  Will your answer be, “Only Jesus! i belong because of the work HE did on my behalf.”

May 2, 2017

I struggled at the thought of being so young and having to bury one of our children.  After all, aren’t they the ones that should be left to decide what casket, what color flowers, what music, what the program should say, where the chairs should face, and what time of day I should be buried! I remember feeling so out of place as we walked through the halls of the funeral home.   Was this real life?

I had delivered Tyler just 48 hours prior, and now we sit staring at notebooks piled high with decisions that needed to be made concerning his burial.  The day was filled with laborious tasks that seemed to never end, and when it finally did, we found ourselves being comforted by songs of Truth that our family claims as Tyler’s song list.


May 6, 2017

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”  James 1:2-4

I read this verse first thing in the morning.  We buried our son today.  Ryan desired to carry Tyler one last time.  He wanted the boys to share in this honor and as I had trusted Amy to hold our son, he trusted Matt to forever carry this moment and share in his pain yet tremendous honor.


There are a flood of potential memories and pictures that a mother creates when she learns that 3 boys will be hers!  This image, of my boys carrying their brother, is branded on my heart.  They knew what they were doing and how significant a role they played.  I wanted wrestling matches, absurd noises, 2 against 1 battles, and the pure laughter of boys to fill my home, MY 3 Boys.  But that was not the Great I Am’s plans.

The song, Cornerstone, was playing as they carried that small wooden box to a tent where the chairs faced North.

“My hope is built on nothing less, than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.  I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly trust in Jesus’ name.”

Friends and family showered us with their presence.  Co-workers, doctors, nurses, teachers, childhood friends, all came to demonstrate their love for us.  I distinctly remember, TT.  A young woman that we see once a year, flew in and honored us with her presence.  God tugged on her heart and I truly believe she will never be the same again.  She, along with so many others listened to Ryan and our pastor deliver the Truth of the gospel.  I will always remember his voice and his face as Ryan stood before everyone and declared, “God is good!”  He delivered it with conviction and he believed it in his heart.  He declared God’s love and sovereignty.  He acknowledged His grace in the deep sorrow yet joy-filled heart that still beat within him.  I know God was pleased with Ryan and delighted in his good message.  Together they declared the brokenness of this world but the message of Hope and love that belongs to us because of the work in the garden and on the cross.

As the service ended with everyone singing , “In Christ Alone” I remember experiencing great peace. His peace. His presence. His plan.

We referred to this day as a day of celebration.  Friends poured into our home and celebrated alongside us.  I couldn’t help but think about the celebration Tyler received upon his homecoming.    Oh, to have witnessed my son meeting His Savior face to face.  To see the eyes of my child knowing nothing but the face of God!  What a glorious event it must have been!  i had anticipated being amongst those saints to welcome him home.  Now he will be amongst those saints welcoming me upon my homecoming.

“Nothing gives me greater joy than hearing that my children are living in the truth.”  3 John 1:4