fellowship of the rings, whiskey, and prayer
The following quote was sent by my sister, Whitney, May 4, 2017
“It does not seem that I can trust anyone,” said Frodo. Sam looked at him unhappily. “It depends on what you want,” put in Merry. “You can trust us to stick with you through thick and thin-to the bitter end. And you can trust us to keep any secret of yours-closer than you keep it yourself. But you cannot trust us to let you face trouble alone, and go off without a word. We are your friends, Frodo.” J R R Tolkien – Fellowship of the Rings
I cry every time I read this. Because it has been lived out by “my people.” My people didn’t run when tragedy hit. In fact, my sisters all showed up! They were never asked to come, but came. My people didn’t allow my self proclaimed “loner” mentality to even present itself. They showed up at the hospital just willing to pray inside and outside our room. They showed up at my doorstep and loaded my kids in their car and went on adventures, providing my kids reprieve from a sad home and sad faces. They stopped by with a vase of flowers and sat and listened to me while I pumped milk into a cold glass bottle. They showered me with scriptures through texts and emails, never expecting a reply. They wept with me and then took that weight into their own hearts. A weight that I can never relieve for them but they willingly accepted. They hugged me and spoke simple words of comfort in a school hallway. They sent a hand-written letter reminding me of God’s love. They have demonstrated powerful emotions of sympathy and compassion when I can’t seem to keep my tears from falling. They have shared their babies with my arms and ached as they watch me and my family enjoy the satisfaction of new life. My people showed up. They exemplified what the body of Christ should look like when one of their own suffers.
“Just as lotions and fragrance give sensual delight, a sweet friendship refreshes the soul.” (MSG)
Proverbs 27:9
The bottle of whiskey arrived alongside Matt and Amy, one random Thursday night shortly after we lost Tyler. The same friends that sent us this message when we shared we were at the hospital…
“We can’t find words to say, we don’t have a magical verse, but we do have ourselves to give. I don’t know what that looks like, but I know it is heavy on our hearts to be with you.”
We all need a Matt and Amy! And we all need to strive to be a Matt and Amy for someone. They walked into a storm and left with a heart that became so flooded by our grief that they will never be the same! Matt made it a habit to text Ryan prayers over the next few months. We drank and still drink whiskey with them often. The first few months not as much laughter as I would have liked, but that’s because they were willing to sit and ask us the hard questions and hear the even tougher responses. They can read straight through us within 2 minutes of being together and before the whiskey is even poured. They give themselves fully and represent the body of Christ so well. We all need a Matt and Amy; and occasionally, that bottle of whiskey.
“What draws people to be friends is that they see the same truth. They share it.”
C.S. Lewis – The Four Loves
I believe I would be overwhelmed if I knew how many prayers have been lifted to the Father on our behalf. It dawned on me over Christmas as I share a glimpse of this journal entry…
December 24, 2017
Every Christmas Eve for the last 16 years, Ryan and I watch “It’s a Wonderful Life.”
This year we got kids down earlier than anticipated and actually got to see the very beginning…if you remember, it’s an image of the stars and voices of people that love George asking God to “watch over him, “help”him, “guide” him, “protect” him, etc….Ryan had my hand and squeezed it as he looked at me sobbing…so many times I’ve watched this movie, know each scene, but this year, I was taken back, thinking that 8 months prior, so many people that know us and love us were praying for us and God found such delight in these sweet offerings and they became a beautiful fragrance to Him. He in turn, lavished His love and grace and peace and covered us in His loving kindness.
“During the days of Jesus’s life on earth, He offered up prayers and petitions, crying aloud and shedding tears, to the ONE who had the power to deliver him from death; and He was heard because of His reverent submission.”
Hebrews 5:7
John went to the garden with Jesus and showed up at the cross. He had nothing to give in order to relinquish the pain and anguish. No words of comfort to express as he barely recognized the beaten figure on the cross. But, he was there. He made nothing about himself known, as his primary focus was Jesus. How painful it must have been to watch his best friend die a criminal’s death and remain completely helpless. How painful it must have been to hold Mary as she wept for her son. How painful it is to sometimes be that friend that simply shows up, and willfully accepts that their life will never be the same.
“But Ruth replied, (to her mother in law, Naomi), ‘Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.”
Ruth 1:9