Sacredly Scarred

July 10, 2017 

I’ve just finished up Hebrews and reminded of my “race” that I’ve been called to run, and I rejoice that He has given me clear direction on how to run this race…

“…And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”

Hebrews 12:1-3 

11 years ago I trained for a marathon.  I was diligent and disciplined in my training.  I had put the work in to potentially cross the finish line in under 3 hours and 20 minutes.  I was excited and ready as race day approached.  Friends and  family traveled to cheer me on and were well aware of my anticipated goal.  

I stepped up to the starting line, confident of my training and told my fans I would see them in 3 1/2 hours.   I did not anticipate that at mile marker 19, my left leg had not received my goal memo!  The pain was increasing with each step forward and I was forced to walk.  I was mad!  This is not how this race was supposed to go!  My pace had been spot on up until this point.  

Fast forward 8 years, I found myself 3 kids in, pregnant with my 4th and more joy than I could have ever imagined.  This was our plan before we got married.  We had discussed having 4 children and dancing through life with a little chaos around each corner.  We had trained and planned well, as we were preparing to bring Tyler into our family.  We were excited at the thought of being “seasoned” parents and “wiser” with this one.  Our first 3 came in 3 years, but Tyler, he was going to receive a set of parents that had “figured it out.”  We were ready!   Except, I did not anticipate that at month 9, my Tyler would not receive the welcome home I had planned.  This is not how this part of life was supposed to go!  Our pace had been spot on up until this point. 

My real race had just begun.  My training was put to the test.  My discipline of knowing the Word, studying the Word and therefore knowing the character of God was about to be challenged.  How will i respond?  How will i put one foot in front of the other? Just like that marathon 11 years ago, each step forward seemed to only increase my pain.  Each minute without Tyler on my hip or amongst his siblings or in the arms of his Father seemed to cause intense anguish and i questioned how i would get through the rest of this life.  

At a lonely mile 24, I was hobbling around a corner and when I focused enough at a figure cheering me on, I realized it was my Dad.  Something happens within a child when they see their Dad encouraging them.  In that moment two things occurred; a surge of strength, my hobble was still there but my eyes focused on my Dad, my ears perked up to hear only his voice of encouragement, and my pace increased.  The second thing that occurred; tears.  Tears at the sight of my dad, that had left the group of fans to come find me, to remind me that He was there, and I was almost to the finish line.  Tears that I knew would not be judged or ridiculed because of the pain I was experiencing.  Tears that allowed a vulnerable daughter to express herself to a loving Father. Tears that knew He would continue to cheer me on whether I sprinted or crawled across the finish line.  Tears that despite my plans of a much smoother race, he would still be standing and providing the loudest of acclamations as I crossed the finish line. 

Fast forward to July 10, 2017, I realized the length of my race far exceeds the length of a marathon.  I’d be filled with despair had my eyes not been trained to see Jesus. The majority of my life i have turned each corner and been overwhelmed by the presence of my Savior.  And just like my Dad appeared and reminded me that I could finish strong, Jesus does the same.  He lifts my head to fix my gaze directly on Him.  The pain does not go away, in fact, each step often brings more intense pain; but the promise of Him standing before me gives me strength that is not of myself.  It brings me into a longing to hear His voice and seek His approval, all the while knowing that He is for me.  

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 

My fixed gaze on Jesus takes away the desperate grasping for relief.  It forces my hands off my wounds and causes them to reach out and cling to God’s Word, trusting that the scars that will be left are nothing in comparison to the scars He wears for my sake! 

We can plan and attempt to set our own pace throughout life, but God will jump in and become the pacesetter when we have exerted too much at the very beginning or been lured off course because of our own desires.  The verse in Hebrews 12, instructs us to put away the things that hinders “our forward movement- and keep running with endurance in the contest set before us, looking away to the Initiator and Completer of that trusting, Jesus-who in exchange obtaining the joy set before Him , endured execution on a stake as a criminal, scorning the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

When the race got hard and my pace appeared to come to a stop, my Dad found me and pursued me…so did God.  My Dad walked beside me and spoke truth into my ears as I hobbled along…so did God.  My Dad assured me that the finish line was not far off and I was strong enough to cross it…so did God.  My Dad would have gladly taken my pain on the day of the race or on the day my son died and placed it on himself so I would not have to endure it, but he could not…God could.  God did.  He endured “execution on a stake,” that He might obtain us!  We are His prize.  We are all running a race, but don’t run the race set before you without a goal in sight. 

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.”

1 Corinthians 9:24-27 

Train yourself in God’s Word so you can still finish strong when you start limping through life because of…an unexpected diagnosis, or a family torn apart because of divorce, or loneliness you live with despite numerous family and friends that surround you, or a heart that is so focused on self that no relationship works, or a grown child that has turned from your teaching struggles to survive, or a child that you thought would complete your family dies.  These are pains that can cause you to hold on to your wounds and decline treatment, or turn your gaze to the Healer who promises to crown you when you complete the race set before you. 

“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord promised to those who love Him.”

James 1:12 

Aren’t you so grateful HE left the comforts of the finish line and met us at mile 24?