Sacredly Scarred

January 25, 2018

I do wonder at Peter!  I’ve thought of him so often over the last nine months…how could he be so blind? Stubborn? Ashamed? Scared? Selfish? Fearful? Afterall, he was walking with The God of the universe?! Why did he take his eyes off of Jesus?!?!  And just when I think I could never be like Peter, I turn into him…Desiring to see what is beneath my feet, longing to be in control, wanting to prove myself to Christ!!!  I have much to learn, but at least I understand it is out of my control!!!  I will continually fix my eyes on Jesus and remain focused on how merciful His eyes are and how strong His grip of grace will always be!

January 25, 2019

The Peter I referenced in my journal entry last year is the chosen one of Jesus. The disciple in which most of us could probably relate to on very real terms. He was a fisherman. He was called by Jesus to leave his nets and begin fishing for men.

‘”Come, follow me, Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” At once they left their nets and followed Him.”‘

Matthew 4:19

When I was a junior in high school we had to write a paper on artwork of our choosing. I found an image of Peter by an unknown artist. It brought him to life, not like the ones I had seen in Sunday school most of my childhood. The image captured a man in the midst of a storm on a boat. He was pulled forward and enhanced as the background was clearly not what the artist intended to focus our eye toward. Peter was strong, muscles that bulged as a cloak was wrapped around his waist and his bust exposed, but not overwhelming, simply demonstrating the strength within a man that works throwing and pulling in nets most of his days. His face is what I recall the most. His hair was flying back, skin weathered by the elements, but his eyes, his eyes were focused and wild. There was something so appealing about the eyes that this artist created. They were the eyes of a man’s man. They were determined to work and remain focused on their task. The irony, Peter so often lost focus, just like I do. The greater irony, God uses people who lose focus often. It is His consistency of faithfulness that draws our focus back into alignment and fixes our gaze on Him.

“If we are unfaithful, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny who He is.”

2 Timothy 2:13

Peter faced a storm. Many if we speak figuratively, but I recall the storm in which he walked on water with Jesus then failed to remain focused on His Messiah, and allowed fear to hinder the impossible feat he was performing.

“When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. ‘It’s a ghost!’ and cried out in fear.”

Matthew 14:26

Now, just hours before, Jesus had taken a bare minimum of food and dispersed it among over 5,000 people whom He had been healing all day long! Are his very disciples really this dull minded? Even more so, am I really this dull minded? How quickly I forget the miraculous powers of God and the daily goodness of His spirit in my life, that I allow my fear to hinder my sight.

If that’s not convincing and convicting enough, here is where the boldness of Peter is admired and the faith of Peter is dissipated by fear.

Jesus reassures the terrified disciples it was Him. Peter then boldly speaks.

“Lord if it is really you, tell me to come to you on the water. ‘Come!’ Jesus says.

Matthew 14:28

And in faith, Peter steps on that water and begins walking toward Jesus. Until, he sees the effects of the wind and he allows the circumstances around him to drive fear into his heart and mind and His miraculous feat of walking on water fades as he begins sinking with his lack of faith.

It’s so easy for me to relate to this often quick to act, disciple. Is it easy for you to step out in faith but when the wind begins to toss you in a direction you don’t want to go you retract and desire to be on dry land? Do you allow the fears of an environment in which you can’t control to prevent you from even showing up? Are you like me, and when I step out in faith and feel that water flowing on top of my feet, and then up to my knees and when it reaches my neck I wonder if He will wait longer and let it cover my head? I wonder how long He will let me stay completely engulfed, but that’s not His promise. That’s a mere human concept of not knowing the truth about His faithfulness. When Peter began to “sink” He cried out,

“Lord, save Me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.

Matthew 14:30-31

It was immediate. Jesus responded the instant Peter cried. Jesus acknowledged the lack of Peter’s faith and his doubt, yet He still caught Peter.

Literally caught Peter. This is often hard for us to understand and even harder for us to believe. Have you found yourself staring at the fear before you and not seeing the Savior reaching His hand to grip you? Is your trust in His presence so small that you like Peter, doubt? Do you believe in the power of His Spirit to use ordinary you to impact other people in more miraculous ways than He did?

We learn so much about God in this rich illustration. Although we may not see, He is always present. He joins us in the storm yet is not persuaded by its volatility. He will deliver us. Another common phrase that can send people sideways. I could be the argument against this. I could tell you that He did not “deliver” Tyler the way we think is right. The safety of His deliverance however, doesn’t follow human standards. It follows His standards. Could we be all but counted sacredly blessed that we were called into glory without the tainted and broken view of this world? My doubt seeps in when the sacredness of His Word is not sought.

Peter got to walk with Jesus. We get to use the entirety of His spoken Word to erase the fear and doubt that seeps into our hearts and minds. When our focus becomes so blurry we have the ability to instantly obtain clarity through His written Word. And when we begin to sink we can rest assured in God’s mercy and His grip of grace. Just like Peter did. His pride vanished when he realized he needed saving. His doubt turned to praise when he realized he was delivered. Jesus could have let the water engulf him but in mercy He responded and in grace he saved.

“Because he loves me, says the LORD, I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.”

Psalm 91:14-16

As over 20 years of life have passed since writing about that picture of Peter, I will claim some small amount of wisdom that I would quickly return in exchange for a 21 month old. Foolish, it seems as I write that very statement but how I long to hold that child again! It is in the midst of storms that many of us find ourselves; whether it be the gentle tossing of the wind in our day to day careers or home life, or finding ourselves caught up in violent waves that seem will never end. At the end of the day, I have always found that the words I read in the beginning of the day keep my eyes focused just like Peter’s in that picture. And when that doubt of His goodness tries to seep in, my eyes burn wild like that picture of Peter and it effects my heart and turns my focus to that constant, unchanging truth of His Word.

“The law of the Lord is perfect, refreshing the should. The statutes of Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple. The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes. The fear of the Lord is pure, enduring forever. The decrees of the Lord are firm, and all of them are righteous.”

Psalm 19:7-9